we're grieving but living

G got home Friday evening and we were all thrilled to see him!  Thanks to wonderful friends and family, there was food in the house for dinner (as an aside, thank you to all who sent over meals, this was so thoughtful and helpful!).  After the kids went to bed, it was finally time for us to begin processing the loss, and I finally cried (which I hate to do!)  It was good.  We know that God is with us and will help us along this path.  Obviously, there are many questions and far too few answers, answers we know that we may never have, but we realize that now is not the time for any big decisions.  Rather, we will process our loss, allow ourselves to grieve and then have difficult conversations.  One thing we have both realized is how thankful we are that we shared the news of our blessing despite this loss.  Having your support and prayers has been so helpful to us during this time.  We cannot imagine going through this in silence.  Thank you so much for letting us share and for your support, prayers and hugs.  Our pastor commented today that he was surprised to see us in church today as it must be difficult to face the questions, and yet it was exactly what we needed.  We were able to light a candle for our baby and be surrounded by so much love and support.  So many people hugged us and some cried with us.  We discussed this on the drive home and said it was exactly what we needed.  So thank you for letting us express ourselves and rest assured, we will survive this and we realize how much we have to be thankful for right now.