Mommy, Wife, Attorney ~ an interesting balance

I've been getting lots of questions lately about how it's going being back at work . . .

and when I'm planning to post a blog about it. 

Well, here it goes . . .

You can probably guess by the slower nature of our blog that life has become a bit more hectic.

Some have also guessed that the lack of blogs about work was a bad sign.

I can assure you that is not true . . . well, not exactly true ;-)

Having been back at work for a month now, I have a little better idea of how it is going.  I was hesitant to say anything too early because I wasn't really sure what the answer to that question would be.  To be honest, I'm still not.  That said, I can tell you what it has been like so far.

The first week was rough and there were more than a few tears the week before I went back.  I was a little okay, a lot on edge.  Sorry to any of you who felt the brunt of that!  I kept telling myself how silly I was being, that I would be home Tuesday night, that I enjoyed my job, blah, blah, blah.  I was trying to be logical but for some reason, my heart doesn't respond to logic very well ~ go figure.

One of the things I was dreading most was the red eye, and with good reason.  I used to have no problem sleeping on the plane but during my pregnancy with Eli it became increasingly difficult.  I had high hopes that it would be easy again but no luck.  Didn't help that the flight was delayed a long time as well.  I finally got to the office around 9:30 a.m. 

I can say that when I finally stepped outside the T (subway) I felt peace come over me.  It was warm, clear and sunny.  I looked up and saw all of the familiar buildings and felt pretty good as I made the 5 minute walk to the office.  When I got there, nothing seemed to have changed since I left.  My secretary had gotten me a lovely welcome back plant that made me smile, the attorneys with whom I work closely took me out to lunch, some friends took me out for smoothies, I unpacked my office, did a little work, then left around 5:30 to go to my hotel, which is very conveniently across the street from my office.  I was exhausted but even I couldn't go to sleep that early so I decided to take a walk around the city since it was such a beautiful day ~ I forgot how much I love Boston.  I crashed that night!  The next day, more work was done because I bugged my favorite partner for something to do ~ he told me to be careful for what I wish for . . . He wasn't kidding!!!

The first flight home was great!  Seconds before boarding, I was upgraded to first class :)  G was there to get me and I snuck in to snuggle Alli and feed Eli when we got home ~ Heaven!  I worked from home that week . . . a lot!  Yep, careful what you wish for . . .

I have been swamped since then, working most weekends and staying very late at the office when I'm there.  It does remind why I love my job so much and yes, I am being serious, not sarcastic.  I really do enjoy what I do.  Then again, it also reminds me what I hate about my job ~ i.e. it never ends and I miss out on fun things with my family.  I wish there was an easy answer but I know there is not.

Fortunately, the kids are doing great with the transition.  We hired the most wonderful young woman to watch them while I'm working and they absolutely adore Miss Kaitlyn!!!  When I'm working from home and she's there, Alli will even ask me to go back to work so I don't interrupt her Kaitlyn time :)  No, this does not hurt my feelings at all.  I am so relieved that Alli and Eli are happy when I'm not around as I've seen the opposite.  When I was commuting to Boston last time, things did not go well for Alli at all and it affected the entire family.  To see my little girl doing so well fills my heart with such joy!  I think it definitely helps that she gets to stay in her own house and not have her routine changed at all ~ plus, Miss Kaitlyn is just F.U.N.

So how is Garrett doing with everything?  Good question.  My husband is an amazing man and so understanding.  I know that Mondays and Tuesdays are difficult for him as he is essentially a single dad trying to handle everything by himself but he tells me that he enjoys the time with our children and is fine.  Of course, he does say that the end of the week is much easier than the beginning ;-)  He is incredibly supportive.  I keep waffling between being okay with work and wanting to be home with the kids.  He simply says that whatever I decide, he will support the decision.  Then he tells me (half-jokingly ~ I think!) that if I work until x-date, the house can be paid off ;-)  I love that man!!!  This past month has shown me how patient and supportive he truly is.  I've had more than a few moments where I've broken down and he responds with love ~ then does the laundry!

I guess I haven't really answered the question of "how is it going" but I think the answer simply is that it is going.  We're taking it a week at a time and so far, it's working for us.  I've heard many times that I'm "Superwoman"  This could not be farther from the truth.  I am just blessed to be surrounded by amazing and supportive people, without whom, this would never work.  Garrett and I have decided, barring any major changes, that I will not make any major decisions until the end of August.  That gives me 5 months of being back there to truly get an idea for how it is going. 

Please keep us in your prayers.  I don't know that I will ever truly figure out to handle all of my roles ~ Mommy, Wife & Attorney ~ but I know that the only way to figure it out will be to do it and have faith!